Hello's Turn To Goodbye's

Today while out with my grandmother, i learned something, something valuable, yet scary at the same time. My grandmother knows just about everyone in this town, so as we went from yard sale to yard sale, she would have a little chat with whom ever. I don't know how many times I heard her say "I am sorry for your loss" or " I am sorry to hear that, keep me updated on how he/she is doing" or maybe, " really, how long have they been in the hospital? what was wrong? Ill make sure I visit this week"

I know for one thing, it is hard, very hard to tell someone your sorry for their loss, your sorry their husband or wife has left this world, yet for my grandmother it seems second nature. This amazed me how she would say things with such grace, and cautiousness, with embrace. As you get older we all know one day we will have to deal with these things as well.. I wonder though how this older generation has learned to cope with telling someone they are sorry for their loss, with such ease, its almost like saying, hey, how was your day? When someone I know passes away, i never know quite what to say to their family, I almost try and avoid the situation, but not my grandmother, she just walks up to them, gives them a hug, and tells them she is sorry, and if there is anything she can do, do not hesitate to call upon her.

This is what happens when you get older, and everyone that you have known all your life is growing older right along with you, they are passing, or getting sick, and it seems they just embrace the situation with such ease. They know its not a terrible thing to leave this world, they know that they will one day, see each other again, that they will see each other in a much happier, and better place.

I hope that one day, when the unfortunate situation arises that i can embrace it with the ease and unsmothering sympathy my grandmother has done, It cant be easy for them to know that each day, someone around them has left this world, but they aren't scared they know that they have left a lasting impression on the people around them. They know they have done their job while on this earth. They know that they have mended relationships, said their "I'm sorry's" they have tied up loose ends, prepared themselves for the life to come.

It's Friday Yall

Mhm, I said yall. Happy Friday everyone! This week has been slam packed with emotion for me, so I am looking forward to enjoying tonight's last high school home game, and senior night, and tomorrow doing a lil shopping, yard sale style with my grandmother, snuggling on the couch and watching the Tennessee Vs. Alabama game! lets hope its a peaceful weekend!

For some reason, I have had a ton of motivation this week, I'm not sure if its because I realized, wow i need to get my butt in gear, I'm going to have three kids, or what, but whatever it is, I'm thankful. I managed to work today, do three loads of laundry including folding and putting away, washed dishes, swept cleaned the kitchen, got my kids from school, and I didn't even need a nap! Wow.

Anyway, Hope everyone has an awesome Friday! Relax, do something with the family, watch a movie, read a book, do whatever calms you!

Its a Bird, A Plane, Its A BABY!

I have gotten nadda accomplished this week. I feel good. But Monday and Tuesday i was sooo not motivated. Monday I found out, we are going to have a baby! After being utterly terrified, and having the shock of my life, i am pretty darn excited. Telling the kids i thought would be hard, but they are excited as well. I told Ethan, and he looked at me and said "so your having a baby!" turned and looked at his dad, turned back around to me and said " whaaaaaa" A little shocked there huh buddy.. He is very excited, saying that he is the only one that can feed the baby. Every morning when he wakes up he says " i cant wait till the baby gets here" Dakota was the one I was worried about. He has always said that he didn't want another brother or sister. He has been very adamant about this. We told him, and he told me i was lying to him! my own son thought I would lie! So i went and peed in a cup and stuck the test in it, right in front of him.. too much info I know. So after the lil punk got over his tude about me "lying" he was happily excited and actually went to school telling all of his friends. This was a HUGE relief.

All of my family now knows, and I had my first appointment Tuesday. The lady doing the test said " she sure is pregnant, I didn't even have to dip it in the urine, I just got close to it and it turned" well thanks for that info nurse practitioner! I go to my regular OB Monday. We now have a due date of June 14th, but everyone knows that can and probably will change since I have to have c-sections due to my kids overly large heads (they get that from their father)

So we are hoping for a girl this time, i mean come on, 3rd time is a charm? I will be happy regardless as long as the baby is healthy, but I sooo so so soooooo want a little girl!

Words That Encourage

I was just over at Oh My Stinkin Heck — Recounting the daily not-so-profundities.and her post was about words that encourage. She then asked us to write a few words of encouragement for our loved ones, especially husbands. I agree whole heatedly with this post. Words can bring you to the deepest darkest corners of life, or they can let your soul soar beyond your imagination. I am going to copy a little piece of what Heather added to her post for you guys to ponder over :

Brant Burleson, communication professor at Purdue University and Wayne Denton, psychiatrist at Wake Forest University, “found that stellar discussion skills can actually do more harm than good in ailing relationships.”
Huh? Communication can do more harm than good in relationships on the wire?
Let them explain:
“…communication skills in and of themselves don’t make or break a marriage, and men’s skills don’t seem to matter much at all. What’s important is how women use their skills, and whether their relationship is calm or conflict-ridden.”
Did you catch that women?
Let them finish up the point here:
“In peaceful couples, the stronger a wife’s verbal skills, the more her spouse liked her. But in rockier relationships, well-spoken wives used their talent for ‘language and psychology to inflict pain,’ addressing their husbands with especially wounding words.”

pretty awesome huh? I also agree with Heather in saying that Daniel and I do not have a rocky relationship per Se. Sure it has been at times. But i will also say, that I can use horrible choices for words at times. We could be having a conversation, and instead of using a certain set of words that would end in a decent give and take of opinion, I chose a totally different set leading to a blown out of proportion argument.

So, Daniel, I appreciate you< for loving me unconditionally. I appreciate you for dealing with me each and everyday, the good and the bad. You love me so much that I feel it in the depths of my soul, I love you for knowing that, I at times need my space, that sometimes i need a kind word, i love you for being able to look at me and understand there is something wrong. I appreciate that you know when to pull me back, and you know when to push me towards something I believe in. I love you for knowing me, not just knowing me, but knowing me deeply. I appreciate you never giving up on us, for those stubborn hard years we endured, you stayed, when you could have ran screaming "what was i thinking" I appreciate you being able to make me laugh, there have been days upon days where I felt like I could not take one more single step, when you held my hand and made me laugh like a school girl. I appreciate the effort you put towards us, especially recently. We both have grown so much in the years we have been together, and I thank you for being here to grow with me. I love you, with every inch of my soul, every ounce of my being, forever and always.

Id also like to thank my best Friends out there. To Tam and Tanya. I want to thank you both for always being there when I need you. For putting up with my ignorance, my self pity, my frustrations. Tam I couldn't ask for a better friend your always there, regardless of the situation, there have been times in my life, i know i would not have come out of if it were not for you. You are my crutch, you hold me up when I can not stand, you walk me through the endless problems that follow me, most importantly, you listen to me. I love you dearly, like a sister and i don't know what I ever did without you. I appreciate the fact that i can trust you with anything. I could come up with so much more to say, but there are only 24 hours in a day. I love you! Not only as a friend, but as a sister!
Tanya, I am lucky, lucky to have found you. Someone who is so much like me, with a tad of difference just to make it more interesting. My house would be filthy without you. There are so many things I come to you for advice for, that I absolutely could not even fathom explaining to anyone else, and somehow, you just get it! Somehow we are so much alike i wonder if we were twins, separated by birth ..er and a year. You make me laugh like nobody ever has, you are a true "girlfriend" a friend I can trust, and that means more to me than anything. I can be silly around you and not feel like a complete loser. I can cry with you, and everything is ok afterwards. you listen without interruption, you care endlessly, and you are always a phone call away.I never in my life thought I would find a friend that is so much like me, and on the opposite end of the country, be so in tuned with someone that i have never met in person before, felt nervous and scared, happy and sad for someone that i have never even hugged, but I do, I feel that for you. I could also go on and on about how lucky I am to have you as a friend, but id get all sappy and yano, that, just isn't us!
I love you like my long lost sister!

Singing The Blues

Do you ever have that feeling.. the feeling that there is so much to do, and you really want to do it, but you would rather lay around and do nothing. I know i have things to do. I know that eventually I will have to face the laundry and dishes and bathing the dogs. For now though id rather sulk and lay around and do nothing. I don't like days like this, they are depressing and sad, and make me feel like a horrible mom and wife, but they seem to creep up on you and hit you in the head like a bag of Lego's before you can stop it.
I would love to be one of those moms who wakes up in the morning, fixes her kids breakfast, showers, works out, and gets laundry started all before 8am. I just cant do it. then by the end of the day these moms have their entire house cleaned, have taught their homeschooling kids chemistry and crafts and have a hot meal cooked and on the table by the time their husbands get home... me not so much. hell, not even close.
I get up in the morning, i throw my hair in a bun, wash my face, brush my teeth, while yelling "boys are you ready, get your socks on" " booooooys don't forget, brush your teeth" I walk and feed the dogs, while signing papers and searching for my keys, rush to get everyone in the car when i realize my shorts are on inside out. I grab a quick bite to eat and some coffee and work until afternoon, while also trying to get laundry done, walking dogs, sweeping, doing a dish here and there, and by 1pm i MAY get to shower. then its off to get the kids from school, do homework, and A) either cook something quickly or B) go to baseball or football practice and grab dinner on the way home. then only to get home, rush to get everyone bathed, and read to and tucked in bed, and papers signed, and dogs fed and walked, and then i may just have 30 minutes before i have to brush my teeth, wash my face and lay down to do that thing, yano, you close your eyes, in my case you drool..oh its called sleep.
So how do they do it? I cant for the life of me figure it out, really I cant. Then i just sit being miserable and want to nap all day because I am nowhere close to the person, wife or mom I would like to be.

Diet? Are You Kidding?

So my husband asks yesterday if my son and I wanted something sweet from town before the ball game started.... I almost said NO, but then he mentioned the name Hunters, and I really couldn't pass up the chance. Hunters is located in our antique district, and is a small, quiet place tucked away in a corner. Welcome to Hunter's Bakery & Cafe in Beautiful Downtown Sweetwater, Tennessee! they make the absolute best chicken salad. Now I'm convinced they make the best sweets as well. They have miniature apple pies, apple cake, brownies, cookies of all kind, and I say miniature, only because its not an entire pie, it is meant for one person, but can easily feed 4. check out the HUGE brownie and cookie we came home with.

Created Monsters

So I create monsters. Least they are cute monsters. We took the kids to the arcade this Friday. It was the most fun! I remember this show, Bozo the clown that came on when I was a kid. I would watch this one particular part and then turn it, I have a horrible fear of clowns! There was a game they played on the show. You had to throw a small tiny ball into buckets, I believe there were 6 buckets lined up. Being the 6th one was the farthest it was worth the most points. Well they had this game at the arcade and I got a tad addicted trying to help Ethan win tickets, and then, he took over himself. Ski ball is another one of my favorites, and the boys love it as well. And i finally beat my son in something, Dakota challenged me to a game of air hockey. Score 4-2 MOM.